Back When + Catwalk/Streetwalk OTD

The most interesting woman in the world

BACK WHEN

Remember when you were free and innocent and all you did was be yourself? I think I know what was meant in Genesis when it was written “Who told you you were naked?” 

Before I tried to come up with a formula to sell myself to the world, before the people I met as a child told me my sister was prettier than me, before I thought I needed a perm and a weave to be beautiful, before the adults in my religious upbringing called me a harlot when I was a virgin, before my ex-boyfriend told me my music sucked and laughed at my big nose and big lips, before I realized I had daddy issues, before I knew no one would or had to help me become successful, before I was told to throw my CD in the trash can, before my idea of beauty was skewed to European standards, before I was self-conscious about what others thought of me, before I started competing with the other local singers, before I understood money, power & sex, I was free. I was me.

I would wear what I wanted. Say what I felt. Sing the song in my heart. Do what I felt in my soul. I didn’t stop to try and make it something for anyone. And that’s the space I’m coming back to.

Who made me aware of myself? Who told me I was naked? What happened that made me live for everything outside of myself? Who made me feel like I had to cover up my true self or that it wasn’t good enough? Maybe that’s just life and it’s something I had to heal and overcome.

What would I do if I didn’t care what people thought? Who would I be if I had nothing to prove? What would I make if failure was not a fear? What would I do with my life if money didn’t exist?

I’m doing it all like this now you guys. Each day, I’m like “hell yeah! I’m doing it!”

As the moments pass, I discover I’m not just a singer. I’m not just an anything. I’m everything I want to be and everything I’m meant to be. I don’t have to scale it down. Pretend. Hide. Fear. I am soaring. I am a kid again. But with adult sense. This is the life worth living. I put all my prayers in the air that we get back to this space and stop being who we think others want us to be. Drop out of society. Jump in to being the real you.

Thank you for reading. Drop a comment below if you want to.

-Deja B.

Listen to my #MondayLoveDrop #WaitForIt and watch the dance video below:

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