EMBRACING MY “IMPERFECTION”
Ever feel like your body type is an “imperfection” and you just wanna morph into the perfect shape?
One of my goals this year is to completely shed the idea that anything is “wrong with me.” (beyond human error so long as I am accountable for myself.) I’ve been teased my whole life for being skinny. I remember in 6th grade I had a crush on this guy. He was friends with my best friend’s boyfriend. My best friend in 6th grade was so developed, and well, I was not too much smaller than I am now. Boys LOVED her. One day I was walking down the hallway and they (the boys) came up behind me and started singing a song they had just mad up. It went “She ain’t got no back-no-back-no! She ain’t got no back-no-back-no!” and they laughed and there birthed my insecurity about being petite. My mom and my sister have always had big hips and booty. I was literally the black sheep as far as this went. I used to sit in my room and pray to Jesus Christ for a bigger butt so boys would like me like they adored my best friend and all those voluptuous girls that seemed to have it all.
Years later, as an adult, I still get teased. My family asks me “do you eat?” or “girl you just get skinnier every time I see you.” (Which is a lie. I’m the same size.) Anyhow, I decided I was gonna stop letting it get to me and embrace it. I’m not an hour glass, number eight figure. I AM skinny. I AM petite. So what? I’m still dope. And I’ve come to find it attractive. Bodies come in all shapes and sizes to bring variety to the world. It’s okay if people have preferences. There’s something for everyone.
I figured, well if I’m gonna be this body type, (not the status quo for a Black girl from Richmond) I’m gonna flaunt it. I’m gonna use my neckline. I’m gonna wear hoochie shorts. I’m gonna rock my skinny jeans. I’m gonna wear the hell out of these crop tops. And I’m gonna make this sh** cool.
I’ve seen so many things that have made me enigmatic as a curse. I wished and hoped to just look like something or someone else. What a waste of the queen God created in me. Whatever you are, whatever shape, whatever ethnicity, there’s some beauty to the thing you may find to be an imperfection. I hope your mirror reflects to you the beautiful person that you are underneath the pain from whoever made you feel it isn’t good enough. I pray that we can see beauty in others even when it’s not what we’re used to!
Thank you for reading! Leave a comment if you’d like. Listen to my latest #MondayLoveDrop #Stay (Every time) inspired by Amerie. It’s in the player below: