We have the power! So why do we complain? + Catwalk/Streetwalk OTD



I’m convinced that women love the horrible ways in which they are treated (at times) because they have all the power to change it and they refuse. 

Here’s my theory. If you don’t agree, that’s fine. Men have the power in the area of marriage. There are more women than men on this planet and more of those women want to be married than men who want to be married. This is a good ol’ game of supply & demand. When you have something everyone wants, you have far more leeway than being in a position of having something no one wants. So, as long as there are more women than men on this planet, and their desire is to have a husband, men will rule the marriage life. This is traditionally why a woman shouldn’t propose to a man. It’s like offering to loan a bank money when the bank has more money than you and doesn’t need your small change in exchange for anything of importance. (Who tries to loan a bank money anyways? It’s a bank for Pete’s sake.) It’s like trying to sell a drug dealer drugs when you get your drugs from them. It’s like washing your car in the rain. It’s already raining.

On the contrary, women have all the power in the area of sex. There are more men that are eager for sex than there are women (although I think the tide on this is changing thus the purpose and need for this article I’m writing.) The same supply and demand game applies here. When you have something everyone wants, you have the leeway. So as long as men are horny and pushing to have sex, the women who have what they want will run the sex life. This is traditionally why rape is held to such a standard of grotesque behavior. You rob the bank when you rape a woman. Here, she holds the key to the thing (almost) every straight man wants, and you exploit it when you take it without permission. Notice, the same regard is not held to women who rape men. And that’s because, as horrible as it may seem, it’s rare that a man isn’t going to enjoy sex and even more rare that a woman will feel the need to take it away because most men are willing participants. If this was a view of violation from the male species, rape would be held as grotesque on both ends, but it’s not. A mans sex is NOT as valuable, in the scheme of supply and demand, as a woman’s, and women don’t HAVE to TAKE sex from a man since most men are happy to give it to them.

So with those two dynamics now clearly stated, it baffles me how far women have come…. to be….men. And how horrible of a quest that is, given that to do so is to relinquish the value of a woman’s “demand.” Can you imagine what the world would be like if men just decided that they would no longer be getting married? That’s right! There would be no more husbands. They would have the single life on lock. No woman could break the code, and they could go on forever being promiscuous or free of married life drama. This is a bleak idea isn’t it? It’s going to happen if women continue to throw sex around lowering the value.

Imagine if women had the heart to collectively choose to stop being so loose and manipulative. Dating would change. Men would have to EARN (there’s a word women have forgotten about) their romantic time. And in the process of earning that time, relationships would change. The okie doke wouldn’t fly. They’d know, to leave this person after they invested this time, would only be a waste if the other quality women required the same. Women would be treated a lot differently. They’d gain their bartering skills back. They’d have less stress. The value of relationships and marriage would increase. And everything would be restored to its natural balance.

I believe though that right now women are afraid to wait. Afraid to say no. Because there is a deep insecurity that there is another woman somewhere not so far away, that will be willing to give that same man everything she will not. And we don’t have the inner strength or belief in our self worth to be okay with that being our option. As long as sex is used as a tool to try to “keep a man,” it will never do the trick. Because quick & easy sex from a woman is so available right now, it’s not always guaranteed to do the intended trick. Someone will always be willing to do more and faster to compete amongst other women for the prize. And all the man has to do is sit back and receive all the goodness without ever thinking of marrying. The trick backfires.

Sex is generally NOT casual. In fact, in my experiences and from hearing of those around me, it’s rare that it remains in a casual state. And although we hate to admit it based on our own fears, we are almost always happier having fulfilling sex with people we care about. So why ARE we fighting to be loose like “men?” Why do we want to take away the perks men have naturally? Why do we want to give up the perks we have of being female? And why do we then complain about the way men treat us AFTER we have given in to the idea of behaving like them?

I have to suggest that we like being dogged. We like only receiving text messages. We like being sidekicks. We like being pumped and dumped. Oh! No? We don’t? Well we could all change this if we had some inner self confidence, a little awareness of women and men’s supply & demand areas, and some self control.

This actually isn’t about being manipulative or controlling or vindictive. It’s about being proud to be women and embracing our God-given value in sexuality. Then using it appropriately and responsibly to set the bar on how women are treated as a rule. It’s about honoring mens control of marriage. It’s about allowing there to be a difference between quality women and those without quality. It’s about balance. On the flip, it’s generally women’s misuse of premature sex that is vindictive and manipulative. The objective is to out-do the prospective woman that could be in her way and to lock down the man with her body. To wait, and have self control, generally means a woman has intentions of building something genuine and long-lasting.

I’m going to expand on this idea further in future posts. I can’t cover the subject in full how I’d like to in the time I have right now, but I wanted to start a conversation about it!

-Deja B.

Thank you for reading. Disagree? Agree? Let me know! Listen to #BeWithYou below:


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