All work & no play makes for a boring, sad and dull life. So here’s to getting back to exciting times.
I’ve made so many changes over the last 3 years. It’s been a big transition for me. Although, it didn’t seem like it so much until lately. I think about how I choose not to say “N*gga” and how I don’t listen to certain music anymore. I gave up fast food, and chicken. Good ol, crispy fried chicken. As well as all meats besides fish & seafood. I stopped getting perms and grew my hair out. Studied spirituality, questioned my moral system, my beliefs, educated myself on plenty subjects I always wanted to know more about and I answered a lot of questions I’ve had about life. I stopped spending money frivolously, I started saving as much as possible. I stopped my cravings for materialism and consumerism and I’ve worked religiously to record as much music as possible and to be consistent with my messages & overall look.
And now, I am ready to play!!! It’s a lot of hard work to make so many drastic changes. In many ways, I’m not the same person. I don’t see the world like I used to and it’s just a part of everyones life. It gets depressing sometimes to face the reality of my own mortality. The carefree mindset that’s affordable as a kid becomes something of the past as time goes by. Certain things don’t fit anymore and it hurts because some of those moments of carefree oblivion were some of the most blissful moments ever.
The hardest part is balancing out what I’ve learned with the fact that I’m still a human being with desires and impulses. To mute them all in a quest to be perfect is not satisfying. All my outlets can’t be creative outlets that I share with the world to teach and express. Every movie cannot be a documentary, every conversation can not be a critique. I’m learning that there is a very important aspect of life called fun, and it has to be implemented just as much as hard work is, or else for me, I’ll start to question why I’m working so hard and want to quit. It’s kind of like going cold turkey on everything. I have to balance out and transition into a balanced lifestyle so that I don’t go into withdrawals.
Ain’t nothing new under the sun. So i’m certain I’m not the first or last person to feel this way. It’s a crossroad between childhood and adulthood, and readjusting to find a way to have fun without being recklessly irresponsible. I never want to be that boring woman that wears a cardigan set and dockers with comfortable shoes by Clarks and a short hair cut because it’s more practical. I also don’t want to be one of those people that has to abstain from all the pleasure of life in order to feel like a good person. On the contrary, I will not compromise everything I’ve worked to build for a jolt of excitement, and risk losing what’s important.
I think a way for me to pan out is to take a vacation every 6 months or so. Enjoy one of my vices on occasion and to buy something nice for myself here and there to even out all the sacrifices. I’m going to take a small break from being analytical and just enjoy life a bit. I’ll write an update blog to share the progress!
Thank you for reading. Leave a comment below if you like. Listen to #Morning time below: