Everyone has the option to do whatever they choose with their life. But at times we want to escape the results of our choice. I think whoever we choose to become, we should own it, or we should change our lives to become something we can own proudly.
I can be a list of things that aren’t cool to me. But the one thing that’s completely dope about me, is that I won’t deny my negative qualities nor the bad choices that I’ve made. I understand that being defensive means I’m trying to protect the possibility of truth in an uncomfortable scenario.
Lately, it’s been really irking me to see no accountability for bad choices. When everything goes good, I take credit. When everything goes bad, I take credit. I look at the world and as I deal with people in it, the more I am seeing people pass off the responsibility for choices they made. It’s in all the fake activism. All the fake feminists. All the misused lingo about “hating”. All the entities that run on ego. I’m not entirely separate from this. This is not a post to say I’m better. Yet, it is a post to say that I’ve evolved to a place where I’m not blaming anyone for my pain. Not my mom & dad. Not the people that have hurt me. No one takes blame for my choices but me.
I accept that everyone has childhood pain to face in addition to the pain we face as adults. I understand it’s hard to make it through tough times. And I also know that blaming others doesn’t ever change the circumstances.
Feminism: To be sexually free is a choice. The world is not suppressing women in every country. Specifically America. This isn’t to disregard all the places that DO in fact suppress women, I send my prayers to those women. But often, the fight we put up here in America is about “issues” that aren’t issues.
I’ve felt that even the bible had it’s contribution to sexism. To many people, the bible is the guide book to life, me included. However, I don’t agree with any man-made book or man-made way of life whole heartedly. What I’m trying to say is that, I don’t follow anything blindly. Society nor the law set the tone for who I am as a person. I know that ultimately, I can do whatever I want so long as I am accountable for that choice. In that regards, I choose my battles wisely and when I feel that something is truly prejudice, I fight it. If women want to sleep around, they should. The concern is that they will be looked down on or dissed by others and that their reputation is on the line etc. There’s the fear of slut-shaming and on & on. But those are all fears of the ego and worrying about how others see you. If we’re comparing ourselves to the sexual freedom that men have on a societal level, then it should be noted that these things hardly concern them. I’ve never heard a guy that enjoyed having sex with random people, worry about how others felt about him. The ones that I’ve met that care, are the ones that don’t like sleeping around. It’s all about owning it. Choose who you have sex with. Protect yourself and carry on. Let people talk. It shouldn’t matter unless you’re not okay with it in the first place. The definition of a slut is a woman that has many casual sexual partners. If this is what makes a woman happy and what she chooses to do with her body, why is it derogatory to her and why does she care what others say?
As far as domestic abuse and inequality in pay & jobs, how I feel is clear. Most women I hear complain about inequality in America, don’t experience it. On the contrary, it’s Black men that face the most inequality in the work place and who have the hardest time getting a job, and getting paid adequately to do that job. Women hold more degrees and Black women are at the top of the list of most educated PEOPLE in the US. To the women that are equally qualified to do the job, I agree that they should be paid the same amount. And in regards to domestic violence, it’s not acceptable to be beat-up by a man. It’s also not acceptable to beat men up. Neither is it acceptable to provoke men and talk to them as if they aren’t men. Own your behavior. If you’re completely not at fault, then you should report that man to the police, and or leave. I think the system in place to protect women is GREAT! But I think as we keep complaining about equality, we are not being grateful for all the things in place to cater to us AND protect us simply because we ARE women. Holidays, romance, relationships, justice system, welfare system, child support system, domestic violence system, rape system and more all serve as great examples of how American women are protected & favored.
If women want to fight to walk around topless, I do believe they have that right as individuals. But I don’t think it’s a behavior that effects women as a whole, and I don’t think having the freedom to be in public topless is a move in a positive direction as a statement to womanhood. Many women object my perspective and that’s fine, I stand by how I feel. If we should walk around topless, we should walk around naked. We should have sex in public. We should remove private restrooms and do all our business in front of the world. If we let one thing hang out, why not let it all hang out? Why live in homes? Why not just live on the street? Why have any form of civilized behavior, if the idea is to fight for the right to do anything because men can do it? Men can’t have babies, or cry rape, or be treated special if a woman beats him up, or use sex/beauty to get almost anything he wants. Most men don’t get taken out on dates for free, or taken on vacations, or proposed to with a beautiful diamond ring, or have a huge dream wedding with the perfect gown and the dream honey-moon, or wear nail polish, or have a period, or any of the things that women have or do (as a rule) and if so, they don’t do it without the scrutiny of society either.
It’s not ever going to be exactly the same because we aren’t the same. The fight for feminism is not about being anti-men. And it should not be designed to compete with men. The fight should be to stop all forms of oppression WHILE still understanding that everything lawful is not advantageous. It’s not to our advantage to do all things men do. We have to be responsible in our movements and make sure that they aren’t scapegoats for our own pains, fears & desires or choices on a personal level. We have to own who we are and who we wish to be and make sure that the fight is only to stop the deep mistreatment happening world-wide. In America, feminism is not a big issue, especially if you’re Black, as racism dominates the issues of our ethnicity . Finally, lets ask all the women on television, in music and in general, why we’re so sold on the idea of being portrayed only as sex symbols. Many women CHOOSE to be objectified and many choose to do so publicly. We can change the world. We have the power. But often, we get so lost in our FEELINGS, about things that don’t matter, that we don’t realize we’re running from the real issues.
Racism: I’m African-American/Black so I can only share from my perspective. Black people are mentally enslaved. Like every other race in America, we kill each other. We’re in this mental space where we beat each other down. Belittle each other. We hate ourselves underneath all the pain we’ve got because we were taught to. Until we heal that and learn to be proud of everything we are, the fake activism won’t change a thing. We were the victims of an atrocious crime. And now that we know that, we have to make the changes to grow. We have to own where we are. Consumerism has to slow down. Savings accounts have to grow. Black’s have to build each other back up. And the family structure and moral codes have to become important to us again. Not because of fear or religion. But because we need the structure of right & wrong and the structure of mother & father in order to prosper within our own community.
PERSONAL CHOICES: I believe every person has the responsibility to heal the pain from childhood. Then to superimpose that pain with the pain as an adult, and work to heal the adult pain too. Healing pain is not about erasing it because no one can erase the past. It’s about knowing what’s there and why, and being able to control how we deal with it. It means we can’t react to everything we feel, especially when what we feel is a direct reaction to past pain and not the current situation triggering that pain. And as we date, choose jobs, friends, etc., we have to know that no one else can make us FEEL any way. No one else can stop us or start us. Relationships are all optional. We have to take ownership of what we do, say & think. It’s no one else’s fault how we react.
HATING: This term is over-used and abused. If the root is not jealousy, it’s just an opposing opinion. There’s nothing wrong with going against the status quo so long as you’re not disrespecting another. Own what you say and don’t change it or alter it out of fear of being called a hater.
MONEY MAKES EVERYTHING OKAY: No it doesn’t. It’s not okay to be a slut if you’re making money, if it’s wrong to be a slut and be broke. It’s not okay to sell drugs to the community if you’re making money if it’s wrong to sell drugs when you don’t make money. It’s not okay to be a bad rapper or singer or person in general, if you’re making money, if it’s not okay to be a bad singer or a bad rapper or a person in general and be broke. Money doesn’t assign value to things from a moral perspective. Only from an egotistical or selfish prospective. This is why a person can be book smart and not street smart. College/books doesn’t automatically make you smart and often those smarts can’t be applied holistically to life. This is why you can have expensive things and still not have style. You can’t buy style, it’s when your physical matches your aura flawlessly. You can earn enough money to be in a higher echelon of society, but you can not buy class. Class is refinement, grace, great manners and common sense, displayed with poise, elegance and beauty. And finally, beauty itself cannot be purchased. Enhancements and corrections can be paid for, but beauty includes the invisible qualities that are inside. Part of beauty is seeing a person’s inner character flourishing and manifesting outside, and unfortunately for those that assume money buys it all, this is something that has to be earned and harnessed or given by God. So let’s not make money an escape from owning who we are. The love of money is the root of all evil simply because it has the capacity to make people, good people, reason that because of the value of money and it’s allure to endless happiness, any and everything can be bought. This is not true. It’s a trap.
Imagine how much cooler life would be if no one blamed anyone and everyone just responsibly did what they really believed in. It would be even more dope.
Thank you for reading! Leave a comment or whatever below! Listen to #MorningTime